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NOTE: I do not mean to offend anyone by compiling this. If
you think you will feel offended, DO NOT READ FURTHER! Don’t say, I didn’t warn
you! I did. This sentence is proof that I did warn you. Okay? It better be
okay! Else I’ll be really mad with you and I don’t know what I’d do as a
result. Maybe nothing, because that is what I do best! In no way do I mean to
offend you or your credentials and if you feel I did then laugh at it, for
laughing at yourself is best laughter there is. True Story! I laugh at myself
and my stupidity every single day.
AAMIR LOKHANDWALA: You know I have nothing much
to say here. Aamir was a great guy, nay he still is a great guy I’m sure.
Student Council amongst many other things, he was classic. The ‘Stick Basterd’,
council good guy when needed and quite the opposite otherwise
AAYUSH AGARWAL: “Julie. Julie. Julie went the whole class,
Julie sang the whole class.” Yes, we called him Julie, for reasons I hope you
know why. If you don’t then I would suggest you look elsewhere but it sure won’t
come out of me, Lover of math amongst other hard science related things, he’s
our ‘Julie Basterd.’
AMAN DUTTA: From the corridors of Don Bosco to
the streets of Sheffield, he remains the classic beat boxer of the section.
Loud rambling beats during the most unnecessary moments kept us all pumped up
till the last day of class. His facebook profile picture at the time of writing
resembled an apple with a pair of headphones in it so music remains his
calling: I give you the ‘Beat Boxing Basterd.’
ANUBRATA BHATTACHARYA: Always a quiet guy in
class, possibly the quietest in most circumstances. Never hesitated to do that
ounce of Kao when presented the chance though, for a (serious) lack of
creativity, he’s our ‘Anu Basterd.’ Pun not intended you sicko!
ARCHISMAAN GHOSH: Bama, O-Bama, Not Barack if
you were thinking, but Archie was right up there with the best. Stupidity and
lameness was one of his talents but then again when you compare him to the average
student in class, he wasn’t very different from us all. I guess he’s our ‘Bama
Basterd’ for lack of creativity flowing though me at this moment. Dare I say
it, I love the email address he gave us all!
ARITRA CHAKRAVORTY: “I’m glad you’re surname isn’t
spelt the way mine is”, these were words of the wisest teacher to ever teach us
in our final years of school. Last time I checked he was cursing his daily
routine every single moment of his day. Our very own ‘Chorbi Basterd’ was unique;
then again we were all unique which is what made us a crazy lot.
ARITRA DAS: Another Aritra, but not a doppelganger
by any means. This guy was full of Kaeth. as we put it here in school. No the full
stop in the previous sentence isn’t out of place, it’s supposed to be there and
will always be. Kaeth. You bet! Sandwich lover of great proportions, he’s our “Airy
Basterd!” Not for reasons of air, but just because he is.
ARKAPRABHA CHAKRABORTY: Weird and amazingly stupid, the ‘perverted basterd’ as he is
called is truly one of a kind. Good in spelling and quizzing, I wonder whether
he has ever won a quiz on spelling or a spelling bee contest on quizzing? This guy
is an amazing basterd
and was one of the founders of HFL. Truly, an amazing hairy addition to the clan
of basterds.
AVIK DEBNATH: The ‘Nepali Basterd’, you know
why! That’s about all I really need to say. Oh, I could also mention the crazy
and totally needless MJ antics he put on time and time again. Nepali sure made
us laugh every single time he did something unnecessary which is wy he finds a
place amongst the elite basterds.
AYUSH KANODIA: “Thollium” was discovered not by
famous scientists but by students in Don Bosco, Park Circus. We still haven’t received
our Nobel Prize though and that’s why we’re all mad right now. Math lover extraordinaire,
All India IIT rank of 75 put him way out of our league as students but still in
the mix as a basterd. I give you the ‘Thollium Basterd.’
BINAYAK CHANDRA: “Etai Jibon” is what he wrote
in my yearbook. I guess that speaks volumes about his laziness. I’m not
judging, we all were lazy which is why we were a unified class. I’d shudder to
ask why his nickname was Khalnayak, but that’s the basterd he is, he’s our ‘Khalnayak
Basterd.’
DARPAN SANGHAVI: Another math lover. Don’t they
ever end? Don’t bother answering that question though. Darpan famously used to
call some of us idiots and do math in a minute (M&M: get the pun?) “Have
you used it?” were his famous words to a teacher which left us all laughing at
the top of our lungs. I give you the ‘Math Basterd.’
DEBARPAN GHOSH: Debu
Da, the guy with all the loot. A regular actor in school plays, usually as a teacher
or a morally good person, which he definitely isn’t in real life
(citation required.) An avid Arsenal fan and canteen food lover,
Debarpan is the ‘Acting Basterd’ so named because of his roles.
Watch out
Ekta Kapoor...
DIPANJAN SENGUPTA: Another actor, famously
playing a blind maoist! I mean seriously? Blind? We called him “Pawrooti”
because of the contents of his lunch box, hence christened the ‘Pawrooti
Basterd.’
FRANCISCO MENDES: Arguably the biggest of the
basterds, Shorty Mendez
could probably be considered as head of the basterd. Young,
black and an avid basketball fan, Francisco never misses the chance to make fun
of anyone-whether you’re his friend or even a family member. The ‘Black
Basketball Basterd’
as he is proudly called is truly an Inglorious Basterd…
KAUSTAV SAHA: How many of you’ll have tried to
act drunk when you’ll weren’t actually drunk? This guy was unique; he was drunk
all the time. How he got his supply in school will go down as a mystery, one
that baffled us all. Our very own ‘Bewra Basterd’, drunk and proud!
KIRIT SANKAR GUPTA: CPU’s a speciality; it even
fetched him a page long remark that cost the librarian a refill. Lover of the
low blow, those that felt his shot will know what I mean. Fortunately, I never
felt it so I’m safe. Huge shoe wearer, and for lack of a better name, he’s our “Ball
Basterd.”
KRISHNA AGARWAL: One of the saner basterds,
Babumoshai as we called him at times was still a basterd at heart, even if he
never really showed it. Perennial good boy of great repertoire, he’s our ‘Bhalo
Basterd.’
MAYANK BAHETY: Another basterd, number twenty on
the list here, so we’re around the midway mark now. I should seriously stop
trolling here. Mayank was another math lover and he usually got his work all
correct, which is something I never quite figured out. Yet, we love him and
consider him to be our ‘Mankey Basterd.’ Why the pokemon reference? I do not
know!
MUSTAFA RANGOONWALA: Every class needs a good
class monitor and “Musti” exceeded all expectations. We were never ever shy to
tell everyone why we made him monitor. Of course you need someone who you can
twist around your finger, yet Mustafa did a great job! That’s what makes him a
proud member of this list, our ‘Basterd-In-Charge.’
NIKHIL SASIDHARAN: “Mend me, thou saucy fellow!”Famous
Shakespearean words that we’ll always remember forever. “Saucy” was a sly
fellow. Great on the football pitch, he called himself Xavi (or was it Iniesta,
I don’t recall) Our ‘Saucy Basterd’ was a classic example of living live one
sauce at a time.
NISHANT RATERIA: Another math lover! Sigh, I’m
so sick of the word already! He was also good at chemistry and yet he found
time to do stupidity as well, even if it was on a minute scale. Proud member of
the basterds, he’s our ‘Keo Karpin Basterd!’
PRAVJYOT SINGH RAHI:
Pravjyot was
DBPC’s one and only YCS vice president in class XI. Yes
that’s right YCS vice president. The first one who actually did no
work. The ‘Religious
Or Otherwise Basterd’, if given a chance would be the first person to
leave the YCS (after Francisco and me that is.) He
was on his way to become YCS’ first useless president but fell short
proving his gross uselessness!
RHYTHM DAS RAY: Bebe! Not the Man Utd player,
that guy is way better that Rhythm. I must say I love the name, it’s unique and
its rare, which is what I can’t say about his size. Our ‘Bebe Basterd’ loved to
not pass the football time and time again and it often drove us crazy! Bebe,
next time pass okay! Then we’ll love you more!
RIKARNOB BHATTACHARYA: “Car knob” in case youre
wondering how to pronounce his name, Riko is another gem to the family of
basterds. The ‘Car Knob Basterd’ always seemed to know his way around the
question paper which left me and others staring blankly. How he did it? I wish
I knew, but one thing is for sure: Basterd never dies!
SAMPRAS SAHA: He once famously claimed he’d turn
you radioactive if you annoy him. And annoy him we did. Whether we are
radioactive or not is for the government to decide. The ‘Chyawanprash Basterd’
was famous for being the reason I conceded the number of goals I did on the
final year of school. If own goals were counted, he’d be topping the charts
easily. Radioactive? Perhaps!
SANNIDHYA GHOSH: Ah! The beat boxing maestro. If
Aman was a hit outside the class, this guy was the hit inside the classroom. In
the middle of the class, the thumping sounds that only we seemed to hear for
some reason were funny and lively. Whether we’d have survived without his
tunes? No one will know! Thank you O ‘Sunny Basterd!’
SHAMBO BISHNU: Who is the only guy to get in
trouble at school while sitting at home? That’s right, it’s this guy! Not once,
but twice that too. Samba was his alter ego he got a few years ago and its one
we loved until he got an even better name. The ‘Zambo Basterd’ was a biology
student who spent more time in the computer lab that a computer student. Kudos
you worthless punk!
SHOUVIK CHATTERJEE: Metal head extraordinaire.
The ‘Metal Basterd’ is the founder of Kaeth. Give him a hand for his invention;
it even has a page on facebook that’s popular. So popular that it’s Kaeth. Give
him a hand, for it could be his one great gift to humankind. Spread and spread alike,
for Kaeth. is the future!
SNEHAJYOTI SAHA: Three girls in class? You wish!
A basterd of the highest order, he was another nut job on the loose. For lack
of creativity, he’s the ‘Sneha-Neha-Jyoti Basterd!’ You already know the reason
why! He played a mean Indian instrument whose name I can’t seem to recall at
this moment, but it was big and was definitely not a sitar!
SNEHAL DE: Harami! Just like us all. Victim of
many jokes for reasons of his prominence. No, I do not mean the word in its
actual meaning here but I suppose you get the drift! The ‘Billie Basterd’, son
of our class teacher and classical singer who we all expected to win but he
rarely did! No point in trolling on the subject I expect!
SOHAM MAJUMDAR: Soham Majumdar is a singer par
excellence. He has been around since God knows when. Another regular feature in
school plays- usually as a drunkard or a mad-man or a mixture of both. Soham is
the only basterd with two names- the ‘Drunk Basterd’ and the ‘Mad Basterd’.
Dual nature at its best. “I am tension!”
SOUMYAJIT PAL: Good guy of the highest nature.
Of late he’s showing true colours which do not make him any less of a good boy!
A huge Oranje fan he always was a Mr. Nice Guy, which is why he’s the ‘Nice
Basterd.’ “Awesome sala” is the word of
the day! Peace!
SRIIJAN BANERJEE: The ’Chicken Basterd’ famously called
Charles Dickens Charles Chickens” and the name stuck. This guy can be very desperate at
times and claims to waste a lot of time on his PS2. At times he gets so
desperate to fly: like the time when he scaled the school wall but fell flat on his back.
Let’s hope no eggs broke! I want my breakfast!
SUBHAJIT MUKHERJEE: Before proceeding any
further, take a moment to pause and reflect of the Kaorami of this basterd. It
was so vast and profound; it will never be repeated again. “Ma’am you’re a liar!”
classic lines of a truly great basterd. The ‘KC Basterd’ will always be.
Forever and ever. Till the world doth end. Amen!
SUCHITRO BASU: ‘Bobby.’ End of discussion.
TAMOJIT BOSE: Every monitor needs an able
assistant and Tamo was quite the able assistant. Equally twistable and loved,
he and Mustafa made quite the dynamic duo. I still remember the advice he gave
me in my yearbook and haven’t taken it to heart just yet. If “Pinki From Chinki”
is the way he’s called in our yearbook, then the ‘Pinki From Chinki Basterd’ he
shall be!
TANUMOY MAJUMDER: Another able KC aspirant. The
Speedy Gonzalez of our class. He even had the audacity to do stupidity in the
middle of the sports day race and still place first. Notable moments include
screaming at the top of his lungs after clinching the relay gold medal. Truly a
Japanese specimen, the ‘Japan Basterd’, now a math teacher!
VICTOR MARIO KAISAR: Had the lack to compile
this. The ‘Basterd Finding Basterd.’ The rest is for you to fill up.
VIVEK GHOSH: Vivek and math are like two best
friends. He loves math and will probably marry a math book, the tougher the
better. The ‘Gambling Basterd’ earned his name after a famous publicity stunt.
It is best I keep the outcome of the stunt to myself because I do not want to
be attacked by math problems.
I sit back and fondly remember those brilliant years of high
school every single day. Memories don’t come any better than those.
“Those
were the days my friend,
We
thought they’d never end!”
Cheers to
all you basterds!
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